So Here I am Again

  Fragile is what they call the world, fragile is what I call an infant. This makes me an anomaly, where others might see one thing that stands out, I see twelve. My flaw, while on probation for almost running a cop down at a D.U.I checkpoint, our seminar teacher (Alfonse) at court substance abuse program asked all of us 'fuck ups' to write down as many emotions on a piece of paper in two minutes as we possibly could. I barely took it seriously, one guy got to around seventeen, I did not want to raise my hand, but I was fucking dumbstruck.
  "How many?" Alfonse asked me.
  Two hundred and thirty four emotions in the span of two minutes, there wasn't even enough room on the chalkboard when he asked me to write them down up there. There was about fifteen of us, and that is the point in my life where I felt I did not belong with humans, I was neither above them, nor below them. Them. Laugh out loud. Like I am an alien, my default reactions are not like yours -the reader-.
  For example, when I went to the zoo with my niece and friends the other day we were waiting in line to pay admission and I noticed a little boy scurrying about looking at my friend's tattoo which was still embossed on his arm and rubbed with Vaseline. Instinctively I knew he was going to touch it just by the way he looked at it, and I could have stopped him, but I did not, I figured it was not my place to grab his arm and say what are you doing? The little boy's mother did not even notice until my friend tried to tell her that his hand might be slick, showing his tattoo to her and explaining.
  My niece ended up getting fatigued so I took her home and went back to have lunch at the park with my friends, forgot the condiments. Their children were playing on the new playground there, I have an affinity for children because of their ability to forgive even in the most fucked up circumstances and try to hold on to that quality myself. I kept count, 5 total, tried to keep up with all of them at all times...Tom Cruise ain't got shit on that impossible mission. Meanwhile I saw what the other parents did not while maintaining the whereabouts of the children highest on my list to watch.
  It was hot out, in fact, I was sweating it was so hot, yet one man had a flannel jacket on with avatar sunglasses and a brim hat, mid 50's, goatee and a thick brown mustache. I was distracted by his propensity at not just keeping an eye on one child in particular, but it was as if he was scoping for a child that was lost. A predator, I began walking towards him and we locked eyes, he almost instantly knew what I was about to do. He did not run though, even as I dangled my pocket knife and he looked back to see if I was still following the asshole made his way to the pavilions and got in his white Prius by the old wooden playground and left. 
  My surmise? I see what others do not, I live a few seconds ahead of anyone else and I am condemned and even ridiculed for it. That is alright though, cause like a child I forgive even in the most fucked up circumstances. From here on out, I'll write, that's what I do. Some of it you will not believe some of it will be made public and some of it is not for the faint of heart.